Now, I don't know if it's his feminine lisp or ridiculous jaw but Michael Phelps annoys the FUCK out of me. He's a clown, a fuckin tool. Anybody that knows me knows that I'm VERY critical of how the word sport is used. Basketball is a sport. Football a sport. Boxing a sport. Race car driving, NOT a sport. Golf NOT a sport (sorry Case). And swimming is definitely, NOT a fuckin sport. But yet, the Olympics have considered it a sport since 1896. And Americans have continued to eat that shit up since then, but whatever. (Perhaps I should clarify what exactly defines a "sport" to me but I will save that for another time.)
So here comes along this fuckin bum named Michael Phelps. The guy can swim. The guy can swim far. The guy can swim fast. And for this, we have been feed his dick down our throats for the last 6 months. He won what, 8 medals or some shit like that? Speedo gave this dipshit a 1 million dollar bonus and he has earned about another 5 million through endorsement deals. So this goofy kid decides to come back to America and act like a fuckin ass and stir up scenes at bars with random women and at house parties demanding the royal treatment everywhere he went. And now this bong incident has come to light. I mean c'mon! Weed? You're a fuckin Olympian who now makes millions of dollars and you're at some bum ass house party hittin a bong? How fuckin lame man. And then you do it in public, that's what really baffles me. I have nothing against people who smoke weed just stupid asses who live off endorsement deals and act a fool in public. And if that piece of shit continues to say that he displayed "behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment" during every fuckin interview I fear that I just might bury my remote in my flat screen. So rehearsed and transparent this guy is.
I don't respect Michael Phelps, his accomplishments or his alleged talent. And I'll break it down really simple for you as to why: Basically he's a damn freak of nature. His long thin torso offers low drag. His arm span is 6'7 which is awkward for his 6'4 height. These arms act as long, propulsive "paddles". He has oddly short legs which lower his drag. This combination creates an enhanced hydrofoil effect which increases his speed. He has size 14 feet which act as flippers and his hypermobile ankles extend beyond the point of a normal ankle, this allows the douche to whip his feet for an above average thrust. So what does this all mean? Well, that he was BORN with these features. A lil training and fine tuning and it would be near impossible for Michael Phelps to suck at swimming....take away these attributes and you have a skinny lil farm boy who's only call to fame is that he slightly resembles an even uglier Eli Manning.
7 comments:
Beast - I have nothing to argue against on this post.....except for spelling of "candidate". Now you might have been posting this at night, there might have been dim lighting, or you could have been inebriated....nonetheless I expect nothing less than a perfectly punctuated, grammatically great post.(this is definitely a mammada)
A+ on the content
B- on the spelling
Tito, Tito, Tito.
SMH
Am I flattered that you spell check my entries? Absolutely.
Am I surprised that you are not giving ME the benefit of the doubt that I simply left out a "D"? Most definitely.
I do use a lotta slang and inappropriate words when typing my blog. My style of writing is an instantaneous one. I type fast as fuck and will SOMETIMES re-read to "spell check".
Sometimes I don't.
I too, would love to go over your latest posts and review your grammar and diction but unfortunately...... you have none.
http://formulatedandopinionated.blogspot.com/
;)
Beast - I had to find something to agrue aoubt in yuor psot. And the raseon I haevnt psoted anythnig is that i hvae a bteter defnese tahn ofefnse, and i wuold mcuh rahter bsut yuor cohps tehn bgein a new psot.
Benefits of Doubts are given out of courtesy...Courtesy is a virtue i dont posses....However i might be the most Hospitable person you will ever meet.
You might one day read over one of my post and find a mistake but that still doesnt mean I have to relinguish my right to be a hipocrite and read over your post with a fine tooth comb....Man I love this country.
How brutally honest. Allow me to return the favor.
First off, the intended misspellings...........so lame.
Your insight surrounding your own characteristics and traits actually says a LOT about you. Probably more than you might have initially intended.
Perhaps I've given TOO much credit to your creativity...or lack there of. Your responses, lately, have been the equivalent of the kid who writes "Have A Nice Summer" on your school yearbook. In other words....stop throwing pebbles at a bulletproof glass.
:)
I believe our blogging abilitites come from two different cerebral hemispheres. Though you might categorize your creative blogging as "beastly", I like to think of mine as logical. I am very intrigued by your use of metaphors, however i might wonder if they are simply a mask for lack of substance.
Well this post totally took a long walk off the "Phelps" pier.
And the blatant use of mispellings is more of a "ceredral" test....it is said that readers only need the first and last letters in a word to correctly read them.
HEAVY IS THE HEAD THAT WEARS THE CROWN I GUESS.
(Sigh)
First off, I'm not sure that 4 posts is even enough to start categorizing your blog.........much less as "logical".
"I am very intrigued by your use of metaphors, however i might wonder if they are simply a mask for lack of substance."
See, the thing is Tito, saying shit like that can comeback and haunt a man.
I must admit. I was tempted to handle your remarks in the same manner as when any other person wants to question/challenge me or my intelligence.
But I know better.
I actually rewrote this entry over and over because I honestly didn't wanna unleash the ego crushing haymakers over some empty rhetoric.
What sucks about having the ability to verbally annihilate the overconfident, is that a certain responsibility comes with it and can get in the way of kindly showing people where they TRULY stand on the totem pole of wit.
Lucky for BOTH of us, I have nothing to prove to you. Therefore, I'm putting a fork in this one because it's done.
See you on the next post.
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