THE TOP 10 MOST OVERRATED "HOTTIES"

With so many lists to compose I figure I better get a jump on it. I wanted to start off with a topic not TOO serious so I decided to go with the ever popular WOMEN topic. Now women as a "topic" can be broken down into SEVERAL categories and lists.....but I'm going to go with the unconventional "TOP TEN OVERRATED WOMEN" list. Needless to say, when I say "overrated" I'm referring to their appearance and overall "physical status/rank" within the entertainment industry. You may think I'm going a lil hard on them but I'm just saying what needs to be said.

So......without further delay, I present to you number:

10.) TILA TEQUILA

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Tila, whose real name is 'Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen', is petite but not in a "good" way. Usually when a girl lacks a figure (Basement and Balcony) they are GOLDEN in the face area. Not so with Tila. It's like E.T. and Sam Cassell went out for a dinner and a movie...... engaged in intercourse......and out came Tila Tequila.



9.) KELLY RIPA

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Kelly is the co-host of Regis and Kelly and the poster child for soccer moms everywhere. She rules the Tide marketing campaign with her commercials and seemed to have earned the label of MILF. LOL....I.....THINK.....NOT. Simply put, she's got the Chihuahua face thing going on and seems to only be able to go from pasty white to bright red tanned.




8.) Penelope Cruz

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
They don't even let this dumb chick talk anymore when she does commercials. She's been an American actress for HOW MANY years!!?? Learn the fucking language already! You're eyebrows are almost as thick as you're nauseating accent.



7.) HALLE BERRY

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
The nude scene in Swordfish? Nope. The sex scene in Monster's Ball? Negative. There is just NOTHING this chick can do to convince me that she is ANYWHERE near above average when it comes to looks. And that Academy Award speech she gave.....god damn! Throw in her inability to drive and she's lucky she's even at No. 7.



6.) JESSICA SIMPSON

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Is she stacked? Yes. Does that make her "HOT", absolutely not. From her ridiculous "man jaw" to her hideous smile, I'm clueless as to when it became okay to call Jessica Simpson "HOT". Buffalo wings anyone?



5.) Cameron Diaz

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
The Mask was made over a decade ago and that's precisely when this chick stopped being "HOT". WTF was Justin Timberlake thinking? If you've seen her in Any Given Sunday, then you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. She's just old and gross....plain and simple.



4.) Alicia Keys

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Tight stomach and that's where it ends with this broad. I take that back, the girl can sing no doubt. And THAT's where it ends. From her clothes, to her man voice...... to her lanky, curveLESS body its just too much to overlook. She reminds me of this dood I used to ball it up with in the park, even more when she rocks the braids. Nuff said.



3.) Britney Spears

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Whenever I come across a debate with a friend about the so called "HOTNESS" of a star, I will unleash my "Any Chick At The Mall" comparison. Some dipshit comes at me trying to "explain" why Britney Spears is "HOT" and I'll inform him that I can go to ANY local mall and find at LEAST one female that is "HOTTER" than Britney Spears. Consider all 10 of these women to fit my "Any Chick At The Mall" gauge. Britney Spears is the most "average" girl on this list. She's not ugly but she's not "HOT", not by a longshot. But her popularity alone explains why she is so high on this list.



2.) Paris Hilton

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
This skinny bitch needs to eat a burger or some shit. Once I see some spine on a female, that's it! Pointy nose, pointy chin and ZERO curves makes for a slam dunk case as to why this idiot is No. 2. Factor in her bottomless bank account, lack of contribution to society and obliviousness to reality, Paris Hilton is 5'8 of absolute NOTHINGNESS.



1.) Lindsay Lohan

REASON WHY SHE'S OVERRATED:
Some things in life just cannot be explained. Lindsay Lohan is one of those things. People, WHAT THE FUCK is up with this bitch?! She's ugly, no she's FUGLY and Maxim keeps putting her disgusting ass in their 'Hottest 100'. From her frog voice to the phenomenal amount of freckles over her ENTIRE body, it just doesn't end with this beast. And to top shit off, even her Hollywood peers proclaim her to be a stupid, self absorbed bitch. Now you know you've hit rock bottom when Hollywood turns it's back on you.

I don't use the word "hate" very often because I find it to be a strong word. Well let the record show that I fuckin LOATHE Lindsay Lohan. She represents ALL that is evil in this world. The site of her aggravates my stomach and gives me a headache. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go pop some Excedrin, chug some Pepto and take a nap.






So there it is people. I hope this stirs up some laughs and plenty of feedback. Get at me.